


some pay in spades

by sandpapersnowman



Series: weekly mag fics i guess! [4]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Arguing, M/M, References to Addiction, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 19:23:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20102359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandpapersnowman/pseuds/sandpapersnowman
Summary: (spoilers up to 147!)Taking someone's statement is as easy as breathing; low effort, high reward, that rush of Knowing boiling his blood in the most delicious way and rising in the back of his throat. It leaves him shaky and satisfied for days, and as much as he absolutelydoesn'twant to give it up, it's not something good people do.He's not sure how he wound up wandering to Martin's office, but Martin seems just as surprised to find them both in the same room.





	some pay in spades

**Author's Note:**

> title from unlike pluto's Death in Paradise
> 
> aaa!! i need to put together a series bc so far i Have been writing a small fic for every new episode which is! Wow!!

He doesn't want to stop.

He hadn't been thinking about it at the time, he'd only been thinking about the _statements_, but Annabelle was right. It _feels good_.

In the wake of the Unknowing, his 'coma', everything else that's gone on, he just... Nothing _else_ felt _good_. Taking someone's statement was as easy as breathing; low effort, high reward, that rush of Knowing boiling his blood in the most delicious way and rising in the back of his throat. It leaves him shaky and satisfied for days, and as much as he absolutely _doesn't_ want to give it up, it's not something good people do.

Even if he's a monster now, he doesn't want to hurt people. Taking the statements like that, forcing them out, hurts people.

He's not sure how he wound up wandering to Martin's office, but Martin seems just as surprised to find them both in the same room.

Martin sits up straighter at his desk.

"Jon," he breathes. "Are you — is something wrong?"

Jon opens his mouth to say _no, everything's fine_ on reflex, but shuts it again. It's not fine, is it? Martin's been avoiding all of them, Jon has become a _real monster_, Daisy and Basira have both been stripped of the majority of their respective identities, and no one in the Archives is _really_ fine.

"Yes," Jon decides, stepping in and shutting the office door behind him. "_Everything_ is wrong."

Martin relaxes back into his chair again, an air of defeat upon him like he's already expecting an argument.

"What in particular have you decided is wrong, Jon?" he sighs.

"All of this," Jon gestures. "You're practically running the Institute because Peter Lukas never shows his face, and you're barely around either. Daisy and Basira have no idea how to act around each other. Somehow _Melanie_ is becoming the most stable out of all of us, and I'm — I'm making people tell me things and relive horrible experiences, just because it _feels good_. It's all so _fucked_."

Martin raises his eyebrows at him. For a moment, Jon thinks it's just because Martin's never heard him swear with so much force behind it, but Martin looks him up and down with something like suspicion.

"It 'feels good'?" Martin asks. "Taking the statements _'feels good'_?"

Jon turns red.

"Not — not in a — like _that_, obviously," he stammers. "It... Feeding the Eye feeds me in return, I suppose. I'm working on fighting the urge, though, that's n-not the point."

"You're sated," Martin says. "It sates you to take the statements."

Jon turns redder.

"It's not — it's like scratching an itch," he insists, and then Martin cuts him off before he can make any more denials.

"You don't want to stop taking them, do you?"

It isn't a question any more than Jon's guilty look away isn't an answer.

"That's why you're here," Martin continues, "because you feel guilty? For the terrible things you've done just to feel _good_ once in a while?"

Jon swallows nervously. Martin is different, too, but Jon could almost be happy for him; the Martin he used to know probably never would have talked back to him like this, and certainly not _goaded_. The old Martin probably wouldn't look so predatory leaning back in an office chair and watching Jon squirm.

"I guess," Jon admits. "I... I don't want to keep hurting people."

"Come here."

It's Jon's turn to look surprised now. Martin hasn't moved, only glanced down at his desk between the two of them. Jon steps forward, unsure of exactly what Martin wants.

"Do you want to take a statement from me?" Martin asks. He looks up at Jon with bitterness, but there's still something fond hidden deep, deep in his eyes. "Or would you rather take a statement from a stranger?"

"I don't understand what you're asking," Jon says slowly. "I don't think it'd make a difference."

"It would," Martin corrects him. "You have to hurt someone to feed yourself. You don't want to hurt anyone else, but it sounds like you _have_ to," he goes on. The way he implies it's something Jon needs sounds mocking, but Jon isn't going to dwell on that. "Do you subject the nightmares to the stranger or to me?"

"You make me sound like a sadist," Jon tries to joke, laughing awkwardly to avoid addressing Martin's question.

"Aren't you?" Martin asks instead, still staring coldly at Jon.

Jon can't answer that anymore.

"I wouldn’t want to hurt you," Jon says softly.

"So you hurt the stranger," Martin finishes the implication for him.

"No," Jon frowns. "I don't hurt anyone."

"_No_," Martin mocks back, standing from his chair for the first time. And, Jesus, has he always stood so tall? "You have to hurt _someone_."

"Would you let me?" Jon spits, squaring his shoulders and trying to put on a defensive show. "Would you really put yourself through that just to save a — a _stranger_, Martin?"

"I'd rather take it than let you hurt anyone else, yes," Martin answers. He sounds shockingly calm. "We've already hurt too many people here."

Jon hesitates.

"Is this about punishing me or yourself?" Jon asks. He doesn't mean to, but he Asks, puts compulsion into a single breath to either start the argument or make Martin back off.

Martin is full of surprises today. He _grabs Jon by his hair_ and pulls him forward, forcing him to brace his hands on the desk to keep from falling over.

"Why wouldn't it be both?" Martin scoffs. "Keep that _thing_ out of your mouth or stop asking questions you already know the answers to."

Jon's heart leaps up his throat. Martin's face hovers near his, and even though his eyes haven't left Jon's, no telltale downward flick to his lips like he's thinking about kissing him, Martin's pupils are wider than they should be. Jon Knows, suddenly, that this is something Martin _needs_ just as much as Jon _needs_ to take the statements. He just doesn't know what 'this' is yet.

"Do you want me to take a statement from you?" Jon asks, leaving the power out of it despite being unsure of what Martin does actually want.

"Let's call it mutually beneficial," Martin says instead, and finally, _finally_ releases his hold on Jon.

Jon straightens himself out, trying to soothe his hair down with his fingers to erase any sign of Martin getting physical with him.

"Alright," Jon finally agrees. "If it's mutually beneficial."

Martin nods.

Jon doesn't record it.

He doesn't need to.

**Author's Note:**

> supplemental: i'm also sandpapersnowman on tumblr and lyric/ille in the rq discord! hmu!


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